I fall asleep holding this most nights lately

What is it? To you, just a fan. It's actually my husband's for camping but he realized it was useful to me after finding me hunched over the fan in our room in the midst of yet another panic attack. The air and cold help and so now I can grip it while trying to ride my panic. Fun. Seriously though, this is becoming too routine.

I wake up drenched in sweat, my heart racing for no apparent reason. I sit up and grab my safety net. The fan. I have peppermint on my nightstand. I quickly pop one in my mouth because the nausea is already not good. I try and prevent the inevitable by doing my deep breathing exercises, I pop an emergency pill, and I wait. I desperately look around the room, trying to "ground myself." It's not working. I start to shake. This usually happens after the initial overheating and I end up freezing and shaking. Fun.

Eventually, the panic is done and you pass out from sheer exhaustion. The next day you're wiped, physically and mentally. It takes days to recover from the trauma of a panic attack, and if you're lucky, you can avoid having another one the next day and starting the counter over again.

I'm usually not this bad, this is usually controlled with my therapy and meds, but my current health issues and some other life events are a lot. I hate this

If this sounds all too familiar, I'm sorry, I see you. I don't have good advice or words of wisdom but I'm here and I know what it feels like. What things help you when you begin to feel your anxiety creeping up? We have to keep on fighting our own brains because no one else will do it for us.