Thursday Thoughts

With everything going on in the world, how do you quiet your mind and find peace? Seemingly everyday there is something else "making history." I don't want to be a part of it anymore. I want a normal, boring life. The life I had before the pandemic, before the world went off the deep end, before a new war started. Actually I don't want to go back there because I was naive and I had no idea how bad things could get. I'm stronger now than I was before. I'm smarter, I'm more broken, but I'm also resilient and I know I can do hard things.

Lately I've been thinking about life and how precious it really is. With everything going on in the world, with my health, I don't like knowing how fragile human life really is. I don't like the "what ifs." Waiting for things for your health is truly torture. Every day that I develop a new or worsening symptom I'm hoping it's not cancer spreading in my body. I just feel off. I don't know how to explain it. Besides the actual symptoms of weight loss, lack of appetite, night sweats, itching that drives me nuts, and feeling so so tired, I just feel idk sick. 🤷‍♀️ I feel so lazy and useless napping but I took 2 today 😞 I'm on the wait list, but until then it's wait and see. The days are sloooowwww.

Jade got her hair cut. I was tired of it getting zipped up in her coats, buckled in her carseat buckle, food and tables in it. She looks adorable. 😍

Molly recently had an awesome email home from her math teacher about how great she is doing. We took her to dinner to celebrate her. She chose Mexican and we got fried ice cream of course. This is real life so ill tell you how the night actually went. Molly was sus and kept asking us why we took her out even after we explained why and how proud we were. She's just a different kid. I think she smiled twice. But she was enjoying herself. Until the ice cream came and Jade sneezed in the direction of it. It was all over then. The night was ruined. Ignore the fact the rest of the night was great, one sneeze and it was the worst night of her life. 🙃 it was hard not to cry myself on the way home. She reminds me daily I have to make it up to her and take her for ice cream. Sigh. Oh Molly, I love you but I don't understand you girl.

Sam tried out for and made Manta soccer. It's a club team and he is the goalie but will also be playing the field. He is playing North Royalton Bears travel soccer as well as flag football. He's a busy kid and we are so proud of him. I'm actually getting ready to shower and head to his band concert. He plays the trumpet and is adorable. Of course I'll get pictures.

As always, thanks for being here and all the positive comments and vibes.